The holidays have a way of bringing us back together. We gather around crowded tables, settle into familiar living rooms and spend time with family members we may not see nearly as often as we’d like. And sometimes, being together in person allows us to notice things a phone call simply can’t reveal.
Maybe Dad is quiet at dinner and seems to have trouble following the conversation. Mom reaches for the counter as she moves around the kitchen. Someone who once bounded up the stairs now takes them slowly, one at a time. A loved one who always helped prepare the meal is sitting down more often or skipping an activity they usually enjoy. None of these moments necessarily means something is wrong. But they are worth noticing.
“The important comparison is with what’s usual for the person,” says Delli Tyler, DO, of Chaffee Crossing Clinic. Changes in balance or walking, appetite, appearance, mood, energy or the ability to manage normal routines can be clues that it’s time to ask how someone is feeling.
LISTEN TO WHAT YOU’RE SEEING
Holiday gatherings can be particularly revealing when it comes to hearing. A busy room filled with overlapping conversations, music and background noise can make an existing hearing problem much more apparent.
One classic sign is withdrawal. When someone struggles to understand conversation, participating can become frustrating, and it may simply feel easier to “check out” or move to a quieter room. Because hearing loss often develops gradually, the person experiencing it may not recognize how much has changed. Family members and friends are frequently the first to notice.
That makes early attention important. According to Center for Hearing and Balance, addressing hearing loss soon after it is identified can improve the likelihood of successful treatment. They also emphasize that hearing plays a role beyond conversation: stimulation of the nerve-to-brain connection is important to auditory function as we age.
WATCH HOW THEY MOVE
Alexandra Scallions, PT, DPT, of FYZICAL Therapy & Balance Centers says families may notice a loved one walking more slowly, shuffling, tiring more easily or needing more rest than they once did.
Another clue is reaching for walls, furniture or someone’s arm for support. There’s even a name for it: “furniture surfing.” Does it take several attempts to rise from a chair? Have stairs become more difficult? Is someone putting both feet on each step or turning sideways to climb them? These subtle adaptations can indicate that a person is compensating for changes in strength or balance.
Pain can be just as easy to overlook. A loved one may never mention an aching knee, hip or back because they have gradually learned to live around it. The clue may instead be what they’ve stopped doing. Pain or changes in strength, stability or confidence that interfere with everyday activities are worth evaluating. Physical therapy can help address those limitations and help people return to the activities that matter to them.
KNOW WHEN TO SPEAK UP
Not every change requires urgent attention, but new, persistent or worsening symptoms shouldn’t automatically be dismissed as part of getting older.
Unexplained weight loss, unusual fatigue, changes in appetite or sleep, increasing forgetfulness, falls or difficulty managing medications are all reasons to talk with a healthcare provider, particularly when they begin affecting daily life.
Some changes require more immediate attention. Sudden confusion should be medically evaluated promptly. New or worsening shortness of breath also deserves prompt attention. Severe breathing difficulty, possible heart attack symptoms or sudden signs of stroke warrant emergency care. Sudden hearing loss, particularly in one ear, also requires immediate medical attention.
START A FAMILY CONVERSATION
While everyone is together, there’s another opportunity that can benefit family members long after the holidays are over: learning more about your family health history.
Knowing which conditions have affected biological relatives can help physicians better assess individual risk and personalize preventive care. Depending on the family pattern, that information may influence when screenings begin, how often they are performed or whether genetic counseling should be considered.
You don’t need a perfectly documented family tree. Start with what you know: the condition, which biological relative had it and approximately how old they were when diagnosed. Heart disease, stroke, diabetes, very high cholesterol, certain cancers and unusually early dementia are among the histories worth sharing with your physician. Patterns such as several relatives with the same condition or disease occurring unexpectedly young can also be important.
And if pieces of your family history are missing, your own medical history, health measures, lifestyle and recommended screenings still provide valuable information. Most importantly, family history is information—not destiny.
NOTICE WITH CARE
If you notice something different this holiday season, the goal isn’t to diagnose a loved one across the Thanksgiving table. It’s simply to pay attention. A private, caring question can open the door: I noticed you seem more tired when we walk. How have you been feeling? Approaching the conversation with curiosity rather than judgment gives someone an opportunity to share what they may have been quietly experiencing.
This year, amid the meals, traditions, laughter and familiar holiday chaos, take a little extra time to truly see one another. Sometimes one of the most meaningful things we can bring home for the holidays is simply our attention.
Special thanks to our contributors, Center for Hearing and Balance; Delli Tyler, DO, Chaffee Crossing Clinic; and Alexandra Scallions, PT, DPT, FYZICAL Therapy & Balance Centers for sharing their expertise.
