[title subtitle=”words: Stoney Stamper
image courtesy: April Stamper”][/title]
I am what my wife and daughters like to call a cheapskate. A miser, a penny pincher, a real scrooge. I prefer the term frugal. I feel like those earlier terms have some negative connotations. But, that could be exactly how my girls intend them. I am the money manager in the house, and someone has to watch the treasury around this joint, right? Otherwise, our house would be full of expensive makeup, unmanageable amounts of antique furniture, and enough name brand tennis shoes for an entire small town. Being the banker in the house can sometimes make you unpopular. When these girls want something, they wantit. And being told no isn’t well received.
You want to know what’s not well received by me? Traveling. Vacations. Getaways. If you read last month’s story, I traveled for fifteen years nonstop. I’ve been everywhere and I’ve seen all of this world that I really want to see. I am completely satisfied spending my time away from work at my house. Plus, it’s free! You see, my house is my kingdom. I don’t have to fight crowds, and I don’t have to be around people that annoy me, (except Emma when she wants me to watch a TikTok video). Perhaps after reading that first paragraph, I really do sound like a grumpy old man. But it’s true!
So, when April came to me several weeks ago and said, “We need to schedule a vacation, summer is almost over.” I could feel my stomach begin to rumble. I felt the need for some Tums almost immediately. I slowly looked up at her and responded, “Oh, yeah.” No enthusiasm at all.
On top of all of my “Bah-humbug” traits, I also have a left leg that doesn’t work very well. I still have a lot of trouble from my knee and hip from a car wreck, and the thought of anything that requires me to do a lot of walking makes me want to scream. But, she had her sales pitch ready. What’s more, she had our three daughters scripted and prepared, as well. “Stoney, since your wreck, the girls have had so much thrown at them. All your surgeries, all your doctor’s appointments and stays in the hospital. They haven’t had a chance to have fun and be kids. Gracee is six. We are going to miss our window of opportunity for her to be able to go to somewhere like, Disneyland, and really enjoy it and for it to still be magical. Something she will remember her whole life.”
WAIT A MINUTE. WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DISNEY?!
But April’s plan was well thought out, and expertly executed. Gracee chimed in. “Daddy, I really want to go to Disney! Will you pleeeease take me? It will make me so happy!” Abby and Emma joined in with fluttering eyelashes and puppy dog faces. I said, “Well, you know I can’t walk Disneyland. There’s just no way my leg can do it.” And then I had stepped right into their well-laid trap. April said, “Well, I thought about that. But, you know, Disney has cruises. And they’re just like Disneyland on a boat. They have all the Disney characters on board for pictures, they have excellent restaurants, you can relax in our deluxe stateroom anytime you need to rest. Gracee can go to the Oceaneers Club whenever she likes and stay there as long as she wants. We can go to Castaway Cay, which is Disney’s very own island in the Bahamas, very clean, no tourists or crazy crowds. I’ve already looked up pricing and everything. We could fly out on August fourth and then come home on the ninth. Four days, nothing crazy. Just a nice little getaway before everyone starts back to school. It’s perfect.”
The trap had been set and I had stepped in it with both feet. Then I asked the question. THEquestion. “How much is this going to cost?” I am not sure what happened exactly after that, because I must have blacked out. Disney ain’t cheap, y’all. We’ve been on cruises before, and what I was expecting to hear, and what I heard were very far apart. “Are you kidding?” “No,”,April replied softly. Disney is a little more expensive, but all the research I’ve done, everyone that’s been on one says they would never sail with anyone except Disney ever again.
What do these people do for a living? How can they afford to go on a vacation every year that costs this much? April said, “We can afford it.” I said, “Yes, we canafford it. But that doesn’t mean we should!” But the four sets of eyes looking back at me told me that this was already a foregone conclusion. It was happening. With or without me. So, reluctantly, I said yes. And plans were set. The next few weeks consisted of shopping for the upcoming trip, which just added more to the tally I was keeping in my head. April began packing our bags two weeks before we left. Gracee counted down the days with a crazy excitement. “Just two more days, Daddy!”
The morning of our flight to Orlando we packed our bags and headed to Oklahoma City. Of course, we had to stop at Target on our way to the airport and buy a few more things. The tally continued to grow. Finally, we were on our plane and headed for Florida. Gracee was almost too excited to stay in her seat. Her head phones were in while the plane was taking off and she was singing as loudly as she could, “Oh Lord won’t you buy me, a Mercedes-Benz…” It was adorable. She was the happiest little gal in the land. I will say, her excitement, and her sisters, were chipping away at my miserly attitude. I was almost having fun. Off the plane in Florida, onto the boat in Port Canaveral, and it was “Sails away!”
Even I was awestruck by the entryway to the boat. Extravagant, like something straight out of Beauty and the Beast, or Cinderella. We were welcomed onto the ship by name as we walked over the gangway and into the ballroom. The Disney Dream was just that. A dream. It was amazing. We got pictures with Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck, Captain Hook and Smee from Peter Pan. But then, it happened. As if the clouds parted and God shined a spotlight right onto her, before us stood Belle, from Beauty and the Beast. She was at the top of an ornate winding staircase, and even as a forty-year-old man, I had trouble not being completely in awe. Belle is Gracee’s favorite Disney princess. Gracee squealed in absolute elation. April, being the overly prepared mama that she is, threw down her suitcase, which we had carried on rather than having them checked, and pulled out Gracee’s beautifully yellow Belle dress, and of course, her tiny little tiara. She threw it on over Gracee’s shoulders, fixed her hair the best that she could on short notice, put the tiara on her head, and Gracee welcomed Belle to come meet her. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why Disney is a little extra. I hadn’t known it at the time. I just thought it was because the word “Disney” was attached to it. But, no. To Gracee June, this was magic. She timidly walked up to Belle, and Belle said “Hello there! That dress looks familiar, would I have seen it before?” Gracee smiled and said quietly, “It’s yours.” Belle then talked to her for a few minutes, then danced with her for a moment. She spun Gracee around the dance floor, and Belle said, “You’re pretty good at this. How do you know how to dance?” With stars in her eyes, Gracee looked over at me and said, “My daddy dances with me.” I have never in my life seen a happier face. Never. It was pure magic. And now, this cheapskate, this miser, this penny pincher, I get it. And it was worth every dad gum penny.
Stoney Stamper is the best-selling author of My First Rodeo: How Three Daughters, One Wife, and a Heard of Others Are Making Me a Better Dad(WaterBrook) and author of the popular parenting blog The Daddy Diaries. He and his wife April have three daughters and live in Oklahoma, where they are heavily involved in agriculture and raise and show a variety of animals.
